is you is, or is you ain't...

ryan and i have always had this connection... we're both snugglers. jackson just has never been one of those kids who wants to be too close, he's sweet--but don't push it.

when ryan was a baby, i carried him deeply snuggled into the space between my neck and shoulders, taking in his sweet baby smells...

when he was a toddler --and heavily sobbing with some sadness--he'd crawl up on my lap with his left thumb firmly inserted and his right hand resting in my cleavage (held over from his nursing days), and then his tears would subside as i held him close...

and as he's grown, he still seeks me out for for comfort for physical or emotional aches and pains(altho, he's done reaching for the boob), a quick hug in the hall way or even a reassuring hand to hold when he's a little nervous...

and that all came to a screeching halt yesterday!

we started school yesterday, and as we walked across the blacktop to the boys' respective lines, jackson was holding my hand and i reached for ryan... nothing.

i reached again... air.

i reached a third time, and saw him swing his arm out of my reach.

by this time, we had reached his line, and he turned and walked off with a wave and said, "see you later..." no kiss, no hug, not even a high-five! off he went to 3rd grade.

so jackson and i walked to his line. he squeezed my hand once before he let go, and walked off to get in his line. so i stood there watching my babies completely independent and confident walk into their classrooms with their friends.

dinah washington sung it, is you is or is you ain't my baby? and of course there were other conotations, but that's what came to mind yesterday as i watched the blacktop empty around me.

and yesterday when i picked them up, it was ryan who snuggled up on the couch with me and told me about his day. so of course, they aren't babies anymore, they are growing (by the grace of God) into my great little guys...

don't miss the tom and jerry version of the great song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq2Mt0HAq4M&feature=related