Tuesday, August 19, 2008

i'm so disappointed...

these are bullies...
so yesterday, as usual i drop the guys off at day camp... and the director/owner says, "can i talk to you all in the office?" it wasn't really a request.

so in we go, and she proceeds to tell me that the guys were caught making fun of another little boy for the way he talked. i was mortified! not my children! they have been raised in a very tolerant and open-minded home, where we've always said that the world would be so boring if God made everyone exactly the same. it's not easy, but i want my guys to be the kind of people to enjoy diversity and differences--especially when they live in cookie-cutter perfect idaho falls.

my jaw is still on the ground in shock, when i realize i have to say something. i didn't completely freak out, but in a very controlled voice i said, "i'm so disappointed in you guys..." and then ryan starts crying, and jackson (as stoic as ever) looks down at his feet not uttering a word.
then the kicker of the whole thing is that the said child "we" were bullying was the owner/director's own child. okay, i'm sure that i would never have known about the incident had it not been the spawn of the day camp director/owner. so my emotions go here and there with thoughts like:
  • if it were my children who were teased, i would have told them to suck it up and realize the teaser was a jerk and move on... however, now i'm the mother of the jerks!
  • then i go the other way, and my heart goes out to this little boy and to his mom, who is hurting from the sting my boys inflicted.
  • and then i'm so angry with jacks and ryan over this for so many reasons like the little kid is only going into kindergarten, ryan still can't pronounce his R and W sounds... and they know how it hurts to be teased.
  • and back the other way, boys will be boys, and kids tease each other. but that's just so wrong.

so now i'm the mom of bullies... nice.

picture from Eric & Caroline's wedding May 5, 2007


Meghan said...

ouch. not only can i picture you and them and "the conversation"...but they are such sweet guys, i know that they would feel bad. please take notes of how you handle this. i will be asking you for advice in less than five years. good luck, girl.

scribbler said...

it's not so bad... i've been having a time in the last few weeks because i am figuring out just how mean boys are... the bub has been running up to new kids on the playground to make friends only to get "you're too baby" and "go away" thrown in his face. more than a few tears I have had to suffer through...

but i always tell me son the same story.. one day at the pool two boys were playing with a big rubber shark and a big rubber dolphin and when the bub wanted to join, they made fun of him and told him to go away. he cried and talked about it for days. the next week, one of the boys was at the pool without the other... and this time when the bub went up to play, the boy invited him in and even let him play with the dolphin... so I always tell the bub that even boys that seem like bad guys aren't bad guys all the time. sometimes people just feel like they have to be cool in front of their friends or sometimes they are just having a bad day... we are all equal. we are all the same... we can all have a bad day.

that said, I think the fact that your boys felt so much remorse says it all.

they are good guys. period.