Tuesday, August 26, 2008

is you is, or is you ain't...

ryan and i have always had this connection... we're both snugglers. jackson just has never been one of those kids who wants to be too close, he's sweet--but don't push it.

when ryan was a baby, i carried him deeply snuggled into the space between my neck and shoulders, taking in his sweet baby smells...

when he was a toddler --and heavily sobbing with some sadness--he'd crawl up on my lap with his left thumb firmly inserted and his right hand resting in my cleavage (held over from his nursing days), and then his tears would subside as i held him close...

and as he's grown, he still seeks me out for for comfort for physical or emotional aches and pains(altho, he's done reaching for the boob), a quick hug in the hall way or even a reassuring hand to hold when he's a little nervous...

and that all came to a screeching halt yesterday!

we started school yesterday, and as we walked across the blacktop to the boys' respective lines, jackson was holding my hand and i reached for ryan... nothing.

i reached again... air.

i reached a third time, and saw him swing his arm out of my reach.

by this time, we had reached his line, and he turned and walked off with a wave and said, "see you later..." no kiss, no hug, not even a high-five! off he went to 3rd grade.

so jackson and i walked to his line. he squeezed my hand once before he let go, and walked off to get in his line. so i stood there watching my babies completely independent and confident walk into their classrooms with their friends.

dinah washington
sung it, is you is or is you ain't my baby? and of course there were other conotations, but that's what came to mind yesterday as i watched the blacktop empty around me.
and yesterday when i picked them up, it was ryan who snuggled up on the couch with me and told me about his day. so of course, they aren't babies anymore, they are growing (by the grace of God) into my great little guys...

don't miss the tom and jerry version of the great song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq2Mt0HAq4M&feature=related

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

i'm so disappointed...

these are bullies...
so yesterday, as usual i drop the guys off at day camp... and the director/owner says, "can i talk to you all in the office?" it wasn't really a request.

so in we go, and she proceeds to tell me that the guys were caught making fun of another little boy for the way he talked. i was mortified! not my children! they have been raised in a very tolerant and open-minded home, where we've always said that the world would be so boring if God made everyone exactly the same. it's not easy, but i want my guys to be the kind of people to enjoy diversity and differences--especially when they live in cookie-cutter perfect idaho falls.

my jaw is still on the ground in shock, when i realize i have to say something. i didn't completely freak out, but in a very controlled voice i said, "i'm so disappointed in you guys..." and then ryan starts crying, and jackson (as stoic as ever) looks down at his feet not uttering a word.
then the kicker of the whole thing is that the said child "we" were bullying was the owner/director's own child. okay, i'm sure that i would never have known about the incident had it not been the spawn of the day camp director/owner. so my emotions go here and there with thoughts like:
  • if it were my children who were teased, i would have told them to suck it up and realize the teaser was a jerk and move on... however, now i'm the mother of the jerks!
  • then i go the other way, and my heart goes out to this little boy and to his mom, who is hurting from the sting my boys inflicted.
  • and then i'm so angry with jacks and ryan over this for so many reasons like the little kid is only going into kindergarten, ryan still can't pronounce his R and W sounds... and they know how it hurts to be teased.
  • and back the other way, boys will be boys, and kids tease each other. but that's just so wrong.

so now i'm the mom of bullies... nice.

picture from Eric & Caroline's wedding May 5, 2007

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

happy day!

happy birthday, dave!
happy anniversary, dave!
thanks for celebrating with me in coeur d'alene this weekend!

Friday, August 8, 2008

do you know CJ Box?

one of the best things for me when i have* to go to conferences is meeting the authors!

how many times have you read a book and wondered about who wrote this book... i often think about that when i read stephen king, because what would fuel someone to write like this? i also wonder when i stumble across a especially juicy book-- is this woman so deprived that she writes her deepest fantasies for the world. or conversely, is she writing autobiographical?

so anyway, here i am in spokane trying to be TALL next to this very nice guy, c. j. box. i'm so embarrassed that i haven't read his books--even though they have been recommended! he is from wyoming, and writes about the issues of the rocky mountain west. i think i have been leary to read him, because i seem to have this apathetic view of environment writings--please don't preach at me! i do care about the enviroment, but i'm not overboard like the the people who are saving water by peeing on their plants...

so anyway, i have been assured that i'm wrong about the author and what he writes. i got one of his books, free fire. this is the seventh (maybe) book in the joe picket series, but it's about yellowstone and this weird strip of land (the sliver that is idaho) where mass murders take place... you should check out the website.

and here is the view from my room here. that's the spokane river. dave is flying in today because he wants to do something special for our anniversary. what do you think about that?

yes, he is charming, but i really know he's here for the fly-fishing. it will be just like our honeymoon--he fishes and i read. i guess that's just the ABCs of us.

*have to go to conferences? not so much of a "have to" thing -- i love getting out of idaho falls and hanging out with other librarians... especially at the corks and cans events. highly recommend coeur d'alene's bar 6.

Monday, August 4, 2008


a rebirth? a revival?

{see me climbing up on my soapbox}
how many of you are getting your money's worth out of your library? it appears free... but you do pay for library services thru taxes. so are you using the library privileges you pay for?
why not?
libraries are here to help...
and that's what the renaissance is about. change is coming in the world and in libraries thru the internet and google, but libraries are still here to help with the motivation for life-long-learning.
get over to your library and ask your librarians some questions. if your librarian is snarkily stuck at the desk, please remind her that YOU are the reason she has a job...
{stepping down}
denver is great... and i'm looking forward to spokane tomorrow!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

some times...

there are no words to express how you feel when you look at your kids... this is one of those times.