mortality sucks...

{big sigh}

if only we could stay 33 forever...

accidental genuis... mayhaps

i so can't take credit for this, but my good blog friend, scribbling in san antonio,brought this gem to my attention... it's worth the 4 minutes! check it out!

and by the way, the scrib is wonderful... visit her blog too!

creatures of habit...

it's become tradition... and maybe we're boring, but every year when my parents come for their trip to idaho, we always go to jackson (just over the hill into wyoming). i guess it would be boring if it wasn't so much fun for jackson and ryan! watching their little faces light up when my dad pays an arm and a leg for the alpine slide tickets, and while dave signs their lives away to ride the said slide.

none the less, it's the nearest slide...

and snow king has a really good miniature golf course, if you can pull ryan from the video games...

and the view isn't too bad either!

a few days late...

and because the guys couldn't speak to their Auntie in Berlin...

we're sending lots of birthday wishes, and hope you are having lots of fun!

is you is, or is you ain't...

ryan and i have always had this connection... we're both snugglers. jackson just has never been one of those kids who wants to be too close, he's sweet--but don't push it.

when ryan was a baby, i carried him deeply snuggled into the space between my neck and shoulders, taking in his sweet baby smells...

when he was a toddler --and heavily sobbing with some sadness--he'd crawl up on my lap with his left thumb firmly inserted and his right hand resting in my cleavage (held over from his nursing days), and then his tears would subside as i held him close...

and as he's grown, he still seeks me out for for comfort for physical or emotional aches and pains(altho, he's done reaching for the boob), a quick hug in the hall way or even a reassuring hand to hold when he's a little nervous...

and that all came to a screeching halt yesterday!

we started school yesterday, and as we walked across the blacktop to the boys' respective lines, jackson was holding my hand and i reached for ryan... nothing.

i reached again... air.

i reached a third time, and saw him swing his arm out of my reach.

by this time, we had reached his line, and he turned and walked off with a wave and said, "see you later..." no kiss, no hug, not even a high-five! off he went to 3rd grade.

so jackson and i walked to his line. he squeezed my hand once before he let go, and walked off to get in his line. so i stood there watching my babies completely independent and confident walk into their classrooms with their friends.

dinah washington sung it, is you is or is you ain't my baby? and of course there were other conotations, but that's what came to mind yesterday as i watched the blacktop empty around me.

and yesterday when i picked them up, it was ryan who snuggled up on the couch with me and told me about his day. so of course, they aren't babies anymore, they are growing (by the grace of God) into my great little guys...

don't miss the tom and jerry version of the great song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq2Mt0HAq4M&feature=related

i'm so disappointed...

these are bullies...

so yesterday, as usual i drop the guys off at day camp... and the director/owner says, "can i talk to you all in the office?" it wasn't really a request.

so in we go, and she proceeds to tell me that the guys were caught making fun of another little boy for the way he talked. i was mortified! not my children! they have been raised in a very tolerant and open-minded home, where we've always said that the world would be so boring if God made everyone exactly the same. it's not easy, but i want my guys to be the kind of people to enjoy diversity and differences--especially when they live in cookie-cutter perfect idaho falls.

my jaw is still on the ground in shock, when i realize i have to say something. i didn't completely freak out, but in a very controlled voice i said, "i'm so disappointed in you guys..." and then ryan starts crying, and jackson (as stoic as ever) looks down at his feet not uttering a word.

then the kicker of the whole thing is that the said child "we" were bullying was the owner/director's own child. okay, i'm sure that i would never have known about the incident had it not been the spawn of the day camp director/owner. so my emotions go here and there with thoughts like:

• if it were my children who were teased, i would have told them to suck it up and realize the teaser was a jerk and move on... however, now i'm the mother of the jerks!
• then i go the other way, and my heart goes out to this little boy and to his mom, who is hurting from the sting my boys inflicted.
• and then i'm so angry with jacks and ryan over this for so many reasons like the little kid is only going into kindergarten, ryan still can't pronounce his R and W sounds... and they know how it hurts to be teased.
• and back the other way, boys will be boys, and kids tease each other. but that's just so wrong.

so now i'm the mom of bullies... nice.

picture from Eric & Caroline's wedding May 5, 2007

happy day!

happy birthday, dave!

happy anniversary, dave!

thanks for celebrating with me in coeur d'alene this weekend!